Friday, September 19, 2003

Talk Like a Pirate Day

Talk Like a Pirate Day only comes once a year (on September 19th), this year it falls on Friday. On talk like a pirate day, everyone talks as if they were a pirate. For instance, instead of saying something like this:

The commitee has decided to reallocate your time to the filing group. We look forward to the exciting new synergies between these departments.

You would say this:

Aye matey, those scalawags in their fine breeches want ye' to move o'er with the scurvy dogs yonder. If ye' don't come back with some fine booty, we be keelhaulin' you next morn!

Translate your work into pirate speak:

Your pirate name is:

Black Jack Kidd

Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

And finally, a cute pirate dog!

Tuesday, September 16, 2003


Blaine entered the box, hanging near Tower Bridge, on Friday night,
saying: "I can only hope for the best and expect the worse." But he may not
have been prepared for the great British sense of humour.

Tony Montana, manager of the Riverside Refreshments van parked just 50
yards from Blaine said: "If he doesn't like it, that's tough. We can't
move the smell." Can't move the smell? from a MOBILE burger van?? Hmm,
maybe all the money he's making is weighing it down - Montana has extended his opening hours as Blaine's stunt has seen his takings exceed £1,000 a day as more and more come to take a look themselves.

Have a look at this - Blaine's predicament as a metaphor for renting a flat in london.

Tom Davies adds (and I'm sure he won't mind the quote):
I went to see Blaine last night.

So far, the darkest thing has been the NAPPIES.

He has a supply of NAPPIES, presumably for the opening overs of the
fast... so, the shit is with him in the box in the first few days and then...
WHERE DOES IT GO? Does it just stay in the corner? Or does it give him
ammunition to lob at the egg chuckers. It was an insane atmosphere down there...

really weird people hanging around looking bored. It reminded me a lot of the
Summer Solstice at Stonehenge, but with less druids.

Plus I met this girl from my floor in Birks there. Weird shit, man.

Also Danny went and had a look. He thought it would be a good idea to sing some songs to Blaine, but people only knew Christmas carols, so they had to make do with that.

So far, the best thing: flying a cheeseburger attached to a remote control helicopter.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

My Sisters Wedding

Recent happenings: watching "Finding Nemo" (it’s fin-tastic) , and The Red Arrows at Eastbourne. I got sore knees from standing about at the Notting Hill carnival , where we met Andy & Reshma (friends we made travelling in Vietnam and Cambodia). While I was down in London I raided the loft and dug out my old Amiga games which I’ve stuck on ebay. And they’re not doing too badly. Wooza.

A few weeks ago, I was all set to go with moving into a nice flat in Church Road, and with great expectations for a management accountancy trainee role that I had interviewed for. On almost the same day, the flat had fallen through (after it was taken off the market) and the employer decided to re-advertise the position that I’d applied for. (though they said that they liked me a lot).

Needless to say, I was a bit down at that point. We’d looked at quite a few places before we found the flat we wanted to move into, and the prospect of going through it all again, with only a couple of weeks before we had to move out was not a happy one. But things turned out ok. After blitzing the agencies, and seeing almost every available flat in our price range, we found a lovely purpose built flat in hove, very near Brighton centre. Big rooms, a dual aspect living room and residents parking with no waiting list. Huzzah. And then Reed contacts me about a temping job at Parker Pens (doing purchase ordering). I’m given the job to start on the day that we move into our new flat. Poor Jo is left on her own to move furniture with a white van man. Up 4 flights of stairs. Poor fella.

Well, the long awaited wedding of my sister Amanda has come and gone. My brother Peter picked up Italian friends Carla & Arigo from Stansted early in the morning, but they missed their flight and he had to wait for hours, before driving all the way to Brighton. On Friday there was the wedding rehearsal. It was the first time that I’d been in All Saints church, and I was amazed – it was more like a cathedral – all grand stonework & stained glass. Amanda’s godfather Lindsay was doing the service. The last time he was in Brighton was when he was when he married my parents almost 30 years ago. Afterwards we had a meal and found out that the best man, Chris Dwyer’s girlfriend Ayesha who played Queen Jamilia from Star Wars Attack of the Clones.

The day itself when by ver quickly, I was rushing about ferrying people to and fro, eating at the soup station that my mum had set up, cleaning the wedding car and attaching the ribbon. As an usher I directed people to their seats and don’t think I did too badly. The service itself was lovely, and Amanda looked every part the princess. There was a potential You’ve Been Framed moment when Nisha (one of the bridesmaids) caught her high heel on Amanda’s trail. But the situation was rescued before it was too comic. The reception was half an hour away at Slaugham Manor. We were worried about the weather, predictions were for heavy rain, but it was just perfect, and the place was very picturesque with a bridge over a little river and ruins of the manor house making it a great place for the wedding photos. The speeches were nice, and my dad included my only suggestion of a joke, which got a laugh which made me happy. Then there was a little disco, and I did the good son job bit of dancing with the older ladies with grace and drinking whiskey with Sumit at the free bar. Nice. We give a lift to Chris and Amanda to their hotel, only for them to find out that their room (the wedding suite) has been double booked. Fortunately, by their friends who don’t mind being turfed out of their hotel room. They don’t have to pay for their room – bonus. Wake up with headache.